Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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