Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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