we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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