is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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