Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
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