also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize