I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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