I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
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