I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
