do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
