I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
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smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
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Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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