HIV tests are more positive than that guy
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now