There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.