i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you