my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real