Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol