What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.