If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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