The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
A Guy Sent A Woman What May Be The Craziest Breakup Text Ever
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
28 Completely Safe For Work Pictures Of Genitals
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies