Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.