Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.