yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.