Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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