Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
