you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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