Got a toothbrush?
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
