So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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