i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i think i have two assholes
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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