she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
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If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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