I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.