She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy