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Please, let me fuck your mom
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
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