like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
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fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.