your thong is hanging out like whoa
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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