You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
