get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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