If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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