like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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