I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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