Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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