Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
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