so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...