Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.