she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
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I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra