So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw