sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.