is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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