A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Come see our sink grown plant.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Randomize
