I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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