Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize