I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize