morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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