I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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