I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
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Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
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How external is "for external use only"?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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