all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
How did I end up in the pool?!
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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