this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
