the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
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so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
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I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
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