Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
