There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
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All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
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I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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