I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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