i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
