Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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