If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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