its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
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The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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