I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
