Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
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